It's probably one of the most dreaded days for me this year so far.
I will be turning an age that Michael will never be able to experience.
Although I have been older than him for a little while.
He was about 6 months old than I am, but I don't know the exact day it happened where I surpassed his age.
But on Monday, I will officially be a year older than him.
Little ol' naive me used to think that I would never be older than Michael.
It never occurred to me that he would die young and forever be 23.
And I would continue on and age without him by my side.
This all brings me back to the question, "Why us?" "Why him?" "Why not me?".
I feel like if the tables were turned and it was me and not him, he would be much better at this whole life thing.
It's not fair. At all.
It's just another reminder that he isn't here anymore.
And he never will be.
Your strength and courage always makes me forget how young you are. You are much stronger than you think you are.
ReplyDeleteI've lived to be 2 years older than Dan, and he was a year older than me. It'll soon be 3, and I hate the reality of that more than words can say. His birthday is coming up, and the thought of having to live through another one of his birthdays knowing he is never going to be here again kills me. Some things get easier with time, so I'm told, and this has proven not to be one of those things. I feel you on this one! I love you girl!! Hang in there!
ReplyDeletetotally feel ya. <3
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