Sometimes I feel like grief, depression and anxiety are my only friends. We all sit in a circle on my king size bed holding hands because we are always connected.
Depression leans over and whispers to me "You will never be that happy again. You are a fat piece of shit. You will always be alone. Death is easier than living. Go eat".
Anxiety interrupts by screaming "EVERYONE YOU LOVE WILL DIE - DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE, YOU'LL GET INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND DIE- A JET ENGINE WILL FALL FROM THE SKY AND LAND ON YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR DOG WILL DIE"!
Then grief chimes in with "He is gone. You will never be able to look in his eyes, hold his hand or kiss his lips. No one will ever love you like he did. You will be alone for the rest of your miserable life".
And this conversation seems to go on and on. Every. Single. Day. Grief - depression - anxiety are the friends that won't seem to go away, but yet they have been there since the beginning. They have been the constant since Michael has died. It almost seems like it would be another loss if they were to go away.