Thursday, January 21, 2010

Last night in our apartment

Well it has been almost 10 days since my last post. I haven't had much to say. This past week has been a tough week for me. I flew back to San Diego on the 14th to finish things up here and close this chapter in my life. This is another one of those situations where I just do not want to let go. Where I am digging my nails in trying to resist the inevitable. Coming here means that the apartment, the home, Michael and I shared together will be no more. The place where our last kiss occurred will be packed up and some other young couple or family will move in here. We got very lucky with our apartment. The size, the amenities, the location is absolutely amazing for the cost of rent. But what is even more priceless is the friends we met here. The memories that were made. The tears we shed and the laughs we shared here. This apartment is one of the last things, besides my love and memories, that I shared with Michael and will be boxed up and shipped to Florida tomorrow. I have secretly broken down a few times today, know that this is my last full day here. The last minute running around and packing my things has taken my mind off of it for a while, but it still does not lessen the dread. I feel sick to my stomach almost every day. Just knowing that my life from here on out is nothing like what Michael and I had planned for.

One of Michael's hobbies was his salt water aquarium. Ever since I realized that I was moving I have been dumbfounded as to what the heck am I going to with the fish when it came to moving. My only option until now was to give the fishies back to the fish store that we bought everything from. I was hoping they would be nice enough to maybe send them to me once I had the aquarium all set up back in Florida. However, it could be over a month from now. I am not sure how long it is going to be until I get my stuff and it takes about a month to fully set up a salt water aquarium before you can put fishies in there. Soo anyway, the conclusion of my story is, I asked our next door neighbors and really good friends if they would like to keep the fish tank. They gladly accepted. I don't know who wouldn't. I am happy I came to that conclusion because 1, I was getting stressed over what I am I going to do with them and 2, I know they are going to a good home. Michael worked hard to put this tank together and it would be a shame to just watch it go down the drain, literally.

Well the clock is about to hit 11 pm. There are still other things I need to go before I head to bed and finish my last day here in our apartment. I went around the place, taking pictures of every room, everything that was Michael and I in this apartment. I focused a lot on the kitchen and living room, mainly because that's where we spent a lot of our time. I miss him so much. I miss him more and more each day. I love you so much Michael. No one will ever take your place.

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