Friday, January 21, 2011


Lately I have been trying to assess where I'm at.
In my grieving process.
I do this every few months or so.
Sometimes I feel like I have made leaps and bounds.
Like I'm getting better.
Getting a grasp on things.

Sometimes I feel like I have gotten no where.
Like I am at square one. (is that even a saying? I have no clue but it sounds appropriate)
Like it happened yesterday.

Lately, it feels like it happened just yesterday.
Like I am just finding out the news.
And my world is flipped upside down.

It doesn't feel like it has been 441 days, 14 hours and 22 minutes since Michael took his last breath.
(reading that is actually shocking)
As of right now, I can't say that I have gotten any better.
I feel as if I have only gone backwards.

For all of you that say it gets better over time.
It doesn't.



  1. My husband died a month ago. Actually, about a month minus an hour. I don't think I've even started the "grieving process". I think I understand what you mean when you say it doesn't get better. I don't think I will ever be better, or ok. You lose a part of yourself.

    So I won't tell you that I hope you get better. I won't tell you that I hope you get past it soon. I guess the only thing I can say is I hope you have more good days than bad.

  2. I am feeling the exact same way lately Allison. Thanks for writing this.