Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Saving Grace

So in the blur that was the first few days (I really should be saying weeks) after the accident people, including my family and close friends, all rushed to be by my side. Many of them where there to be emotional support and were there to even make me laugh when I needed to. A few took on the responsibility of cleaning and picking up food. A few did laundry. Which I am very thankful for, please do not get me wrong, it was a huge help. But Michael's clothes were washed too. I never really realized it until a week or two ago, but in those days of helping out, Michael's smell was being washed away. Yes I still have his cologne, but I don't have his essence. The cologne is fine alone, but when you mix it in with someone's sweat and body heat, the smell changes a little bit. Over the past few day I would catch myself going into the closet and smelling his clothes to see if I could get a good whiff of Michael. No luck.

However tonight... typically I have been wearing Michael's clothes to bed. Consisting of t-shirts, pajama bottoms, and even boxers. Well tonight when I was getting dressed for bed, I pulled out a shirt from Michael's drawer. It was an RCT-5 shirt from his last deployment to Iraq. As I was pulling it over my head I couldn't believe it, I smelled him! Michael was the type that if he wore a shirt once, most likely he would fold it back up and put it in his drawer to wear it a second time... may be even a third. He must have done just that with this shirt! So here I am laying here in bed, with this shirt over my nose just breathing in my husband. I know this is sad, but I think this is the happiest I have been ever since this all has happened. This one shirt is my saving grace. My little escape from this mess.

Thank you for being with me Michael. I will always and forever love you!

No star in the sky will burn longer than my love for you!

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