when will it stop?

Just when you think that you have had enough piled onto your plate... something else happens. Something else I never thought would happen... happened. My dogs, Milo and Koby have turned on each other. I don't even know where to begin.

I guess it really started to happen a few weeks ago, they would get in little scuffles here and there, but nothing serious. Milo will become fixated on something and Koby will feel the need to try to correct him. Milo is becoming an adult, he will be a year next month, and I am assuming that he doesn't want Koby to boss him around. So they fight. It was managable, nothing to worry about, until this week. On Tuesday they got into a fight. I don't remember how it started or why, but my mom and I were able to break it up. Wednesday was worse. I was outside with the two of them and Milo saw a soccer ball. He went nuts and tried to escape the yard and before I knew it they were in a full blown fight. I was out there alone and I could not get them to stop. I was so lucky that my neighbor was outside and he was able to jump my fence and help me pull them apart. Koby got hurt worse than Milo. My hand also got bit in the process. I knew it was an accident. I got bruised up bad as well. They are both extremely strong dogs (Milo moreso than Koby, obviously) and it just got out of control. I know I only made it worse though because I was screaming and I started to hit the both of them with a stick. I didn't (and still don't) know how to break up a dog fight.

I decided however, that I could make it work without having to give up one of them. I could not bear the thought of giving up one of our children. I was keeping them separated and rotating them in and out of the house and in and out of rooms. It seemed to work... for two days...

Today was the second worst day of my life. Well not the whole entire day, it was good up until around 6 pm. Leah, my sister is visiting and we were getting ready to head out to the store. Koby and Milo were both in the house. Milo was in the living room and Koby was in my room. Well I was walking out of my room and Milo just so happened to be sitting at my door, and some how Koby got passed me. It only took a second before they were going at it. Full force. My room turned into a blood bath, literally. I got bit again. This time on the outside of my right thigh and this time it was 100x worse than the first one. Thank god my sister was there, because if she wasn't, I would probably have a dead dog. After was seemed an eternity, we were able to separate them. Once they were both safe, I had to rush to the hospital. They took me right in and now I have 5 staples in my leg. I had a mini panic attack in my head because the last time I was at the hospital, was the day I lost my husband.

Once I was taken care of, we went back to the house and took Koby to an emergency vet hospital. He had to have surgery to have 4 drains put in some of his deeper wounds. It started bawling when my poor pup hobbled out. He got hurt really really bad.

I have decided that I just cannot keep Milo. It really does break my heart. I feel like I have failed him and Michael. I know however, that if Michael were here, he would want to give him up after the first time I got hurt. I am desperately looking for a no-kill animal shelter or rescue. I can't keep him long enough to find someone else to take him. It is too big of a risk. He truly is a good dog, he just doesn't do well with other male dogs. He needs a lot of work, and unfortunately, I can't handle it anymore. I love both Milo and Koby, my family and everyone else too much to let this possibily happen again. Milo deserves to have the attention and dedication I would have loved to have been able to provide for him. This is not going to be easy. I know that I am doing what is right and I know Michael is helping to guide me through this.

 :(