Sunday, June 13, 2010


On Wednesday, I went to San Diego with my in-laws. We didn't go for fun, we didn't go to get away. We went for business, for Michael. I am not going to indulge anyone with the details because it is a private matter. But I will say that nothing was really accomplished.

Being in San Diego was painful. More painful than I ever expected. We were in the same area that Michael and I used to visit. The absence of him was everywhere. At times it was hard to talk and even breathe. He was missing. He should have been there.

I am home now. We left on Friday, so it was a very quick painful jab. I'm sick. I'm exhausted. It seems like every time I come back from San Diego, I come home with a cold. For some reason, this one seems so much worse. I'm exhausted. It's hard for my eyes to focus. My hearing is thrown off. My nose is killing me. And my sinuses are throbbing. I have no motivation to do anything.

This past week has really shown me that when I take 1 step forward, I will most definitely take 2 steps back.


  1. I hope you start to feel better soon, all around.

  2. Sounds like you need a lot of tea, couch, movie, and puppy cuddle time!! All of this is really hard right now, I know. I'm just shy of 3 years without Dan, and some days I feel like I've made no progress. Just when you think that you've finally picked up some of the pieces, and your life is looking like something you recognize, grief will blindside you. It's just what the bitch does! :) There will be times when we are going to take 1 step forward, and possibly fall all the way back down to where we started. But, it won't happen every time. There will be many times that you take 20 steps forward, and only 1 or 2 back. I know at this point it's hard to see, but I know it'll happen for you. Just keep your chin up, and your heart open. Hugs and lots of love to you friend! If you ever need anything I'm always here!!

  3. I wish I could help somehow. Hope you feel better.